Well, so much for writing every day until I graduate. So much for ending the writing streak on my own terms, like Cal Ripken. So much for thinking that using a nifty spreadsheet formula to track my writing days would keep me from hiding from my dissertation.
It’s over. And how? Did I decide I simply had too much on my plate this week and that I should prioritize, and spend my time on more important things? Did I decide that quality was more important than quantity, and that there was no point spending half an hour engaged in ramblings only marginally related to my dissertation? Did I sacrifice my daily writing time in order to aid a friend in distress? No, unfortunately it was for none of these reasons. I’m ashamed to say it, but the reason my wonderful little writing streak died at 145 days is….
I forgot to write. Yes, I simply forgot.
When I remembered, it was 4:00 a.m. and I had just gone to bed, having stayed up late grading tests that had fallen behind, and nursing a swollen achy head and nose from the sinus-drilling operation two days earlier. Yes, I managed to write (somewhat incoherently) the night of my surgery, and (somewhat more coherently) the next day, but on the third day, I just flat forgot. When I remembered I had not written that day, I briefly considered getting back up to do it. At that point, I realized the writing streak had gotten out of control and acquired a life of its own, a life it never should have been allowed to have.
As my brother DMG astutely pointed out, there is no way I could write more than 6 days straight and expect the writing to be useful. Since usefulness is a low priority purpose for my writing, this had not worried me much. But as I ponder my unexpected sadness at the accidental death of my writing streak, I realize that feeding and tracking a writing streak can cause another danger, at least as perilous as the hiding-from-the dissertation danger it was designed to prevent. The new danger is that the write-every-day habit could obscure the true status of my dissertation progress. It is entirely possible that because I am writing every day, I might deceive myself into thinking I am actually getting somewhere.
So now, I just don’t know what to do. Should I start tracking a new writing streak, as of tomorrow? (Today has been a long day, no point in starting today what could be started tomorrow.) Should I quit tracking my writing and go back to hiding from my dissertation? Should I redefine my writing streak somehow, perhaps using an hours-per-week requirement, or forcing non-writing days into the schedule every so often? Should I attach quality points/rankings to my writing sessions so I will be forced to write something useful? The only other time I redefined my official definition for a writing day, I predicted that disaster could follow such a violation of conscience. Sure, enough, just 9 days later, my writing streak died.
May it rest in peace.
5 comments:
Congratulations! I'm so happy for you to finally be rid of that writing streak. Maybe now you can start writing for real!
~DMG
I am happy for your writing streak to be over - its purpose complete - and now its time for new adventures. But I feel your angst at how it ended. Love, Mom
Thanks Dave! It has actually been a relief. And I have started a new streak... So far, I've gone 5 consecutive days without doing anything on my dissertation!
Mom, the purpose of the writing streak was to keep me working on my dissertation...that purpose is certainly not complete. I appreciate the sentiment though! Only a mom could have written a comment like this. Thanks for stopping by!
You guys are a very strangfe batch of Renfro's. I knew something was going on when it wasn't good enough just to write, but there seemed to be some insinuation that it needed to be useful. I'd have to say that the best writing tends to have no real use whatsoever, at least not at the time it was written. the best writing is when you have no idea what you are writing about untill weeks or years later, when suddenly you think "Ah yes! I wrote about this one time"
Writing is a time machine! Writing is like a flower....she needs no excuse to be there, and needs no place to go.
And you guys crack me up!
Thanks Steve! I'm so glad you think that my writing does not need to be useful. What a relief!
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