Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Am I a writer? Part I

As writing on my dissertation has finally become part of my daily routine, and as I have occasionally surprised myself by enjoying it, I have found myself contemplating whether I am, indeed, a writer. If someone asked, “Are you a writer?”, how would I answer?

I started thinking about the statement, “I am a __________-er”. (Fill in the blank with any activity.) What are the qualifications for being an ___________-er? Here are some ideas:

I make money performing the activity.
I don’t make money at the activity now, but plan to later.
I excel at the activity.
I do the activity frequently.
I have been doing the activity for a long time.
I like the activity.
I own the proper gear for the activity.
I engage in competition doing the activity.
I continually try to improve my skills at the activity.

Here are a few of my activities: teaching math, swimming, running, riding my horse, and writing the dissertation (not necessarily in order of importance).

I have said “I am a math teacher” many times, and no one aware of the facts has ever disputed it. I think people who earn a living speaking to math classes are called “math teachers” regardless of whether they like teaching math, excel at it, or whether they’ve been doing it for 30 years or just a week. They are called “math teachers” whether they teach math as their full-time occupation, or just teach one class as a side job.

What about running? If someone asked me “are you a runner?” I would probably say yes, possibly adding a lame joke about how slow I am. I do not make money running, and never expect to. I do not in any way excel at running, at least when compared to other runners (keeping in mind that “runner” is still not well-defined). I do enter running competitions, but never with any thought of winning a prize. Hmmm...I don't seem to meet many of my own criteria. Maybe I'm not a runner after all. But hey, I do own the proper gear!

I have no idea if I’m a swimmer or not. I’ve only recently learned to swim, and I am still terrible at it, but am determined to keep practicing until I can swim laps smoothly and easily. I purchase swimming videos, read about swimming, and try to improve my skills every time I get in the pool. I may enter a triathlon as a graduation present if I ever finish my dissertation. Every once in a while, I entertain a secret thought that it would be fun to teach swimming someday. But does a wish to swim well make me a swimmer? I think not.

Am I a rider? Well, I certainly don’t make money riding or maintaining my horse. If you ever find yourself with a bunch of extra money you don’t know what to do with, buying a horse is an excellent way to get rid of it. A golfer can park his golf clubs in the garage during tight times (or during grad school!), but a horse owner must keep feeding her hobby, regardless of whether she has time to ride. I know for certain I used to be a rider. Am I still a rider, even though I haven’t been on the horse much lately? My efforts to become a writer have swallowed all hours I could have spent being a rider!

Now to the difficult question: Am I a writer? My writing professor told our class that we were all indeed professional writers, because, as graduate students, writing is our job. At first I had doubts about this, at least in my case. Perhaps it would be true for research assistants paid by the university. But for me? Through my tuition, I pay money for the privilege of being asked to write. If I am a professional writer, shouldn’t someone be paying me at least a little something to write? On the other hand, since I attend a public university, are the taxpayers paying for me to write? For some reason, I am not completely convinced by this argument. If I am to call myself a writer, I need a better reason than this.

Can someone call himself a runner if he ran to catch a bus once? What if he always oversleeps and runs to catch the bus at least once every week? Does that make him a runner? If I drive my car into the bayou and escape by swimming, does that make me a swimmer? If I write frequently in an effort to finish my dissertation, does that make me a writer? Or is that equivalent to calling myself a runner because I chased something? Presumably, once I catch it, I stop running.

Which of the qualifications on my list are necessary to become a “___________-er”? Or is there something else, a true qualification I have so far overlooked?

Well, I hoped that by putting these thoughts down on paper, I could decide whether I am a writer. But I still have no clue, and perhaps it doesn’t matter. Writer or not, I must write, at least for now.

3 comments:

Dave Renfro said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous said...

You should ask yourself, Am I a thinker? and then apply the criteria you listed. I think you will be able to say confidently that you ARE INDEED a thinker. You certainly own the proper gear for that activity!

I still haven't decided if I'm a runner or not, but I did run around Fayetteville Lake three times in four hours the other day. Felt pretty good.

Cheers!

~Dave

Anonymous said...

Hey, Jennifer: if you weren't a writer, why would you spend your time thinking-in-writing, or reflecting through writing? To me, more than 'being paid to write', writing-to-think is the mark of a "true" writer...

Signed: Your writing professor...